It started out as a bright and sunny Sunday but here I am staring into the afternoon sky and it looks pretty bleak. Grey clouds are hanging low and there’s a cool breeze in the air. Looks like rain; it’ll be here soon. My mood pretty much started out the same this morning. It seemed like a jolly good day but right now I’m not so sure. I’m a little confused about things.
For the past week or so my husband has been acting different. He’s been coming off work early and spending more time with me. He’s been taking me out for drinks and dinners every other night. He’s definitely been making an effort to be extra nice to me and I am seriously baffled by this behavior. I can obviously see that he’s trying to make things better but for all this attention from the man who hardly gave it over the past few months…. It can get a bit overwhelming and baffle you. I just don’t know how to deal with it. I am smiling a lot more than I used to and I am laughing more as well but I’m not quite sure if I am truly happy deep inside. I mean, things can’t be right just overnight! Life doesn’t work that way and my head and heart and desperately trying to figure out what to do… Here’s what I’ve decided though… I’ll definitely never take this life for granted. This journey is temporary so I am going to make the most of it, if it means through this confused phase and I will be okay.
Mixed thoughts and emotions today… But hey, I do believe that some journeys in life can only be traveled alone. Finding myself is a journey I need to travel by myself. No one can do it for me and I wouldn’t want it any other way either. As time consuming as it may be, it’s fun, it’s scary and it’s totally worth it!