Letting Go


Admit it, we’ve all had to let go of things in our lives at some point or the other. Whether it’s a person, a feeling, a desire (want or need) or even an object, we as humans are constantly beginning and ending chapters in our lives.  This is normal.

Although age and experience can possibly make the journey easier, no matter how many times, completely letting go can be quite difficult to achieve. As humans, our natural tendency is to focus on ‘what used to be’ or ‘what could have been’ and idealistically though unhealthy, holding onto it as if it was everything we ever wanted.

Unfortunately, the problem is that this notion and holding on can cause more suffering. It does not encourage growth in any form of way or the ideology of moving forward. The ideal situation however be to find a balance between grieving and focusing on the future and things that could be.

If you’re finding it hard to let go of the memory of someone you’ve lost in your life to death, there’s always the opportunity of paying tribute. It could be a family member, a distant relative, a close friend or even your pet companion.

Remind yourself that you are only human, and sometimes it’s okay to cry if you want to. Many times we tend to tell ourselves that tears should not be spent on something that’s lost but this does not help with the process of letting go of something that meant near and dear to us. Allow yourself to grieve. Whether its at the grocery store when you’ve been hit with a memory flashback or while you’re quietly reading a book in your favourite nook, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing. If you feel like letting it out with a good cry, do it.

Most often while we grieve for what is lost and what we may never have, we tend to lose focus on what it is that we need. We tend to forget that our lives matter and that we need to pay attention to our mind and body. Take care of yourself; do not lose wind of the importance of inhaling and exhaling. It is the key to our existence. Give yourself time to heal, but also feed your body. Go outdoors and get some fresh air. A walk will help give you a sense of clarity. Do something you are passionate about and puts a smile on your face. Eat your favourite foods.

There is no time constraints on how long you should grieve and deadline to when you should let go. You can do it in your own time but also focus on what you can gain while you do so. Overcoming a sense of sorrow and hardship can mean you are becoming a stronger individual, an open-minded person who has willpower and who is brave.

Ultimately, remember that tomorrow is a new day. It may be and seem difficult to understand but a new day brings new opportunities and with it new experiences.
There’s no denying that perhaps a teeny part of you will hold onto things without 100% letting go, but that’s okay. The trick is not to heavily focus on it or to completely let it take you over.  


Some will find it far more easier to let go than others, but we all have our means and reasons to do so. The biggest misconception of letting go and detaching is as a sign of ignorance, aloofness or even emotional disconnect. But as the Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh once said, letting go is a sign of loving more, not less. It is compassion, and contains a deep sense of concern and more love, not the opposite. In truly letting go, we practice gratitude and there is relief and joy is doing so. A sense of soulful satisfaction.

There is no art to letting go in reality. We all have different directions. Letting go is simply a sense of allowing and being.

Good luck!

Advertisements

A detox


How addicted are you to social media? 

For the most part, I tend to stick to Instagram and Facebook Pages for business purposes, Whatsapp for keeping in touch with my friends and Snapchat occasionally as well. I’m way past the idea of uploading every bit of my life in detail on Facebook and right now I’m very happy with life this way. No one has the right or need to pass judgement on the recent lunch I had or the dress I wore to dinner or who I’m hanging out with and what my thoughts are on the current situation around the world. 

I haven’t been on Facebook for personal reasons as such. I only use it to share my work updates thus far for the past three to four months. It’s been quite a relaxing and free couple of months. I am not obliged to share anything, to comment on someone’s post, to pass judgement on someone’s wedding attire or social status and laugh at another’s pun indented joke or see where my friends have been dining. I don’t want to know and I don’t need to know. If you want to know about what’s going on in my life, talk to me. Call me or message me, don’t go to the Facebook page. 

Plus, I don’t understand why I would upload my entire life on Facebook. I see people who tag themselves in their honeymoon locations around the world, upload a snap of their newborn covered in blood, rave about their divorce because it feels like an escape from reality, shout to the world about falling in love and I just don’t want to do that anymore. Not on Facebook and not on social media for that matter. Yes, I do have a personal Instagram account but I only upload a picture every now and then and that too when I have something to say, not oh so randomly. I never used to be a private person, but over the past two years, I’ve become just that. On this blog however, I feel like I can say what I want to say. This is my mind map, where I unload most of my thoughts and feelings and where people can’t pass any judgments at me. If someone does, I just hide the comment. I am in control and I like it that way. 

Because for the most part, I felt like I had lost control of my life. Over here, I have a sense of it. I’m learning to pick up the pieces as we speak, and in a good way. My marriage isn’t the most perfect but the past week has been…alright. On a scale of one to ten I’d give it a four for the moment and that’s okay. However I do also feel that if my feelings do not change as the days and weeks and months go by, some drastic changes have to be made. I’m sure of that and quite adamant bout being in control of what goes on in my life. 

I no longer wear the hijab and hardly wear a shawl anymore either. This does not define who I am as a Muslim or my faith so don’t be oh so quick to pass judgements on my choices. Who I am is between me and my God. Just because I do not wear a shawl does not mean I am not modest or I am shaming my faith or family. I simply do not allow an item of clothing to define who I am. 

So back on to the social media detox… I think I’ll continue to be this way. I’ve had people wonder if my marriage is on the brink of separation or divorce and why I haven’t uploaded any images with my husband, but why should I feel obliged to answer these questions if I do not want to? I don’t need to upload an image of him and I just because we are happy or unhappy, together or divorced. I’d I don’t want to, I just won’t do it anymore. 

My detox may confuse some and cause friction in their minds but I just can’t sit down and give a care to what everyone thinks. Those days are over. I’m looking forward now towards better things.